she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
