So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Church boner. Awkwardddd
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
