I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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