god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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