You're completely useless in the revolution.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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