2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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