and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
