Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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