i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
