Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
