Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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