Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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