Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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