What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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