its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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