i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
