Duck Duck Cougar?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
