it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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