She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
