i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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