yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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