Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
