Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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