I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize