i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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