you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
