i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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