this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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