It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
