I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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