i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
