I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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