Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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