I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
