i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
