Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
