And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
