I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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