Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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