He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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