It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
