I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
