So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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