cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
