I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
