i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
