if i can run in heels then i can drive
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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