you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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