Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
As shirtless as possible
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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