Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
