Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
