it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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