he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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