You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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