I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
