Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
