our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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