Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
