Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize