so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
