I think I won the penis lottery.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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