But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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