The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
