Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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