I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
